The Cicconetti Sullivan Adoption Blog

Adoption News

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We've had news from Lutheran Family Services about the North Korean/Chinese refugee adoption program. Pastor Chun is making headway, albeit slowly, toward getting these little ones out of China! There are a whole host of issues but Durihana is continuing to work on them. The UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) has finally designated North Koreans in China as refugees. Unfortunately, the children of these refugees have not been given the same status. However, UN acknowledgement of refugee status for the birth parents is still a HUGE step towards making this adoption program possible. With UNHCR refugee status, and knowing North Korea will not accept these children perhaps China will allow them to leave legally and without complication or political involvement. It is our hope that these children find their way to Colorado quickly and into the waiting arms of loving families (us!).

Thanks again for all your prayers regarding this situation!

Jamey Says My Blog Isn't Lame

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Jamey says my blog isn't lame and I'm trying to believe her but I've seen other blogs and they are...well, interesting. In an attempt to make my blog more interesting I'm going to try to write about more interesting things. Rocket Science, right? Today's blog will be about the motivation behind our adoption.

"If you have come to help me you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together." ~ Aboriginal Activist Group 1970s

This quote is a pretty accurate account of why we are adopting. It isn't about saving someone from poverty. I know that may sound strange to some people but in our minds poverty is not reason enough to relinquish your children. We've both seen poverty. We've both seen people who live on so much less than we do and are loving and loved and a family. Contrary to how we live in the United States, the quality of your life is not about the quantity of your stuff.

It isn't about pity. We don't think we are better off in the United States than other people are around the world. In many respects I'm sorry to say we will offer our internationally adopted children a lot less than what they would receive from their birth family and birth culture.

We aren't adopting out of guilt. This is not something we are doing because we have to or because the Bible says to take care of widows and orphans.

We are adopting because of justice and equity. Because there is no "us" and there is no "them." There is only "we." There are children who need families and we are a family who knows we have the capacity to love someone else's children as our own. Because no child should wonder if they are loved or if they will ever be loved again.

Frankly, we don't know if we can have biological children. We've never tried. It is important for us that adoption is our first choice. We want to be able to look at our children and say, "We only wanted you."

Jamey and I discovered today that we hold the same song in our hearts about adoption. "I see the moon and the moon sees me. The moon sees the somebody I'd like to see. God bless the moon and God bless me and God bless the somebody I'd like to see. It seems to me that God above created you for me to love. He picked you out from all the rest because He knew I'd love you best."

What's new

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Saturday's meeting went very well. We received clarification on a few points (the ages and well-being of the children) but were still left with a lot of questions (what will family selection look like, when and if this program will happen). There were almost 50 families represented. We met some great adoptive families from Fort Collins and it was an honor to just be in the same room as Pastor Chun (the founder of Durihana). He's been dubbed the "Schindler of Asia" for helping more than 500 refugees escape North Korea and China. Pastor Chun only speaks Korean so he worked through an interpreter. The meeting began with an overview of what the Durihana does and then went on to talk about Angel House which is a collection of homes currently caring for the children. This was followed up by a question and answer period.

The need is so great for these children. Matt and I both left the meeting on Saturday feeling an emotional tie and responsibility for these children. Our feeling is that Pastor Chun will decide to work with Lutheran Family Services in Colorado. However, the the decision to go on with this program is in the hands of the State Department and the U.N. Refugee Council. We told our social worker we would like to be involved if this program does move forward however our pray above all else is that these children find loving families even if it's not with us. We'll keep everyone updated when we get updates.

Tuesday Matt had his personal interview with the Colorado National Guard for the Chaplaincy program. He said the meeting was very intense but he did well. He was sworn in that day and now I'm married to a commissioned officer in the national guard. His rank is 2nd lieutenant which , as Jamey put it, is not bad considering he hasn't done anything yet. The next thing on the radar is getting Officer Training done and out of the way. OT is 13 weeks long, four weeks of "boot camp"-esque stuff and then 9 weeks of chaplain training. Matt does not have to do all 13 weeks at once however there is a financial benefit to doing them all at once so we are considering it. The next OT occurs September 13th-December 20th in South Carolina (or North Carolina, I can't remember which). Again, we aren't sure Matt will be going then but it's possible.

As soon as we have more info we'll give you guys an update! Thanks for your prayers and support!

More changes

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 06:00:00 GMT

To catch everyone up...in the late spring, upon the advisement of our social worker (Katie), Matt and I decided to postpone having our home study done to give ourselves a chance to become more "financially appealing" to the adoption powers that be. While we felt this was a wise decision it was still discouraging. I tried to console myself with the thought that maybe our kiddos just weren't ready for us yet...or even born. We prayed that God would change our hearts about the delay and remind us that he has our little family in mind. We put operation, "Get Matt a Job/Pay Off Our Debt/Get Money In Savings" into effect in full force. Our full force has turned out to have the power of a light breeze more than a raging storm but we've been doing the best we can and making a little progress :)

Last week, Katie called me at work and said that she had something she needed to discuss with us. Katie said there may be a new adoption program starting and when she heard of it she thought of us immediately. In S. Korea there's an orphanage that cares for N. Korean and Chinese refugee orphans. The pastor who runs the orphanage has been working to get these children brought into the United States as "unaccompanied refugee minors" and adopted by families here. Katie thought of us because the adoption is very low cost (we'd only have to pay the fee for the home study), there's no travel involved because politically the children must be brought here (so no travel fees), and off-the-record they are seeking families who are interested in sibling groups. My heart leapt in my chest when we heard this news! There's a meeting in Denver on Saturday July 18th with the pastor who runs the orphanage, Lutheran Family Services (the agency doing our home study and prospective partner of the orphanage), representatives of the North Korean and Chinese refugee community in Denver, and prospective adoptive parents. Again, this is just a potential program with Lutheran Family Services so we're trying not to get our hopes up too high but we're really excited about the possibilities and are looking forward to getting some more information next weekend.

WORDS OF WISDOM

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Thu, 14 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Matt and I are facing some setbacks in our adoption. I just found out yesterday that I may be losing my job. Things just aren't rosy for us right now. While it is easy to be discouraged and to feel hopeless when we see our lives appearing to go backwards instead of forwards we're trying (some days more successfully than others) to keep our chins up. I thought I would pass along part of an email I received from a friend and mentor. She says so gracefully what I wish I could do...what I hope to do. I hope you'll be blessed by her wisdom like I was.

Often the most important crossroads appear as significant setbacks....but changing paths often puts us on the right path for the right time. Our job is to walk our God-given journeys with integrity, perseverance and excellence, even when it looks like a dead end. The end result is what really matters, and that's the fruit our lives can bear for the cause of Christ! Truly, we are only a small part of His story. When we are truly choosing to trust and have faith, even in the face of the toughest adversity, that is when we will see the power of God! Even the smallest amount of faith is precious to God....so trust Him, and He will grow that faith.

One difficult thing to hear (and please love me anyways for saying this) is that sometimes we must die to our own dreams to allow God to give us His dreams for us. I have no idea if that's what's happening in your situation.......and the flip side of that is: Don't doubt in the dark what God has told you in the light!!!

God is so good!

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Oh, my goodness. I can't remember the last time I was this tired and this happy! Our garage sale this past weekend was so much work and so much fun! Matt and I are so blessed by our fast friendship with Brian and Cindy (the other adopting couple). They are the only couple we know that has not only been through this process before but is going through it concurrently with us. They have been a great source of information, support, and love. We are so thankful for them!

We are also incredibly thankful to all of our friends and family for their donations, volunteerism, and prayers. I don't know how people go through this process without a support system like ours. We are richly blessed. How richly blessed are we, you ask? Well, I guess if we had to put a number to it...Matt and I had been praying that we would have enough money from the garage sale to pay for our immediate home study costs which are $2500. That means the garage sale would have to make $5000 because we split everything evenly with Brian and Cindy. We didn't know it but it just so happens that Brian and Cindy were also praying that the garage sale would make $5000. Who make s $5000 in a garage sale? We do! Yes, God gave us not only $5000 but $5097.09 to be specific! Which is enough, we joked, to have our home study done AND celebrate with margaritas :)

I still can't believe I'm writing this next part....it still feels too good to be true but the blessings do not end there. I opened up my email account this morning to find an email from our social worker, Katie, waiting in my inbox. Lutheran Famiy Services chose Matt and I to be the recipients of the $500 home study scholarship! We were shocked! Now, not only do we have the money for the home study but we also have $500 to put toward other fees. Matt and I both felt like the outcome of the garage sale was God opening the door but this is like God opening the door and rolling out the red carpet!

Chicken Soup for a Mother's Soul

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

This is from Chicken Soup for a Mother's Soul:

A young woman named Mary gave birth to her first child, and because her husband was on military duty, she spent a couple of weeks after the birth at the home of her parents.

One day Mary mentioned to her mother that she was surprised the baby’s hair was reddish, when both she and her husband were blonde.

“Well, Mary,” said her mother, “you must remember, your daddy’s hair is red.”

“But Mamma,” said Mary, “that doesn’t make any difference because I’m adopted.”

With a little smile, Mamma said the loveliest words that her daughter had ever heard: “I always forget.”

No News is Good News?

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Adoption update:

Things move so s l o w l y in the world of adoption. I don't have a whole lot to add today but I wanted to let you all know that I'm not withholding information...I just don't have any new news!

The first loose string that has not been tied up yet involves our home study. Our home study agency, Lutheran Family Services, was supposed to decide the recipient of the $500 home study scholarship (of which we are in the running) at their meeting on Tuesday night. Katie, our social worker, contacted me this morning to let me know that there was too much on the agenda and they have postponed that decision until their next meeting on April 7th. While I wish a decision had been made already I'm relieved because that means we could still get the scholarship! I was totally prepared to be bummed about not getting it.

The second loose string that has not been tied up is getting contact from the India program at Holt. As I stated in a previous post the Holt India director was in India until recently and while he was there he told his assistant (who told us) that India might possibly, maybe, perhaps, no promises, be releasing a few sibling groups to Holt in the next few months and that could be a good thing for us. He also said he would be in contact with us when he got back to give us some details. I've been trying to wait patiently for this phone call or email. I don't know how much longer I will last!

Um, what else? Sorry this post isn't very fluid. Things have been a little choppy lately (worry about my job, worry about Matt not getting a job, working on a grant I need to get done very soon, finances, finding a bigger place, etc). Yeah, just a bit stressful and choppy.

Oh! Gathering items for the Garage Sale for Adoption is going really well. We've had some really great donations to sell (nice couches, HD tv, etc) and some great items to raffle. I've been really surprised by the community support. I hope we get a great turn out! Again, please see www.garagesaleforadoption.blogspot.com for ways to help!

Okay, that's it for now. I'll talk to you all again soon!!!!

What to buy when you don't know what to buy

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Unlike most expectant parents, Matt and I have no idea how old our children will be when they finally come home to us. And like some expectant parents we have no idea the gender of our children either. For retail therapists, such as myself, this is actually a good thing. It completely prevents me from spontaneously buying things we don't know if we will need or even use and, seeing as my husband is currently not working, this also prevents any spending we can't afford.

To curb my desires, most of the time I just feast my eyes on the seductive photos in the Kids Pottery Barn magazine and the more-realistic-for-our-lifestyle (and closer to my taste) items on Ikea.com. Harder to resist are the small ticket items like cute sundresses on Etsy (what size? and will we even have girls?) and California Baby bubble bath (do I want my sons smelling like ylang ylang?). Obviously you can see my immediate purchasing issues :)

There is, however, one thing that Matt and I feel confident purchasing related to our adoptive children and for the first time ever we splurged on that one thing this past weekend. We bought child-focused books about adoption! I have been researching these types of books online but this is the first time we've looked at them in person. In case you were interested we purchased Motherbridge of Love and I Love You Like Crazy Cakes. While I had some minor issues with each book my response to both was overwhelmingly positive but we didn't buy the books for me so over the past week we've been sharing them with our friends' little ones for their reaction. I have to say, they have all been really sweet. One of our friends' little girls actually asked if we would leave the book with her so she could sleep with it that night! Now, she regularly sleeps with books but I still felt this was an honor and her nod of approval toward our purchase :)

Garage Sale for Adoption!

LauraGolightly@comcast.net — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Matt and I are having a garage sale with another adopting family on Friday April 3rd and Saturday April 4th. We are seeking donations of items to sell and items to raffle off. Check out: www.garagesaleforadoption.blogspot.com for how to help!