It doesn't seem possible, but I am more pregnant every day. I do NOT remember being this uncomfortable for so long with Benjamin. I know I was uncomfortable toward the end, I just don't remember it starting so soon and being so disruptive to my life. I think part of it might have been the fact that I didn't really *have* to do anything last time. I wasn't working and it was just me and Andrew so I guess I could sleep when I was tired, be lazy when I ached and seriously do nothing all day without any kind of major disruption. Two year olds, as it turns out, are not really very into sleeping, lazing, and doing nothing so I don't get to do very much of it. At least I don't have a job though. I can't imagine having to get up and go to work everyday. I try not to think about still being pregnant at Christmas, or New Year's...Yikes!

Now, all that said, it's really all a matter of perspective. As much as I complain about being uncomfortable and impatient I'm not really as bad as I sound. I suppose I could just shut up about it, but I don't think that idea has any real merit... :) It is SO much easier for me to imagine a "real baby" inside of me this time. Everytime I get kicked, jabbed, and can watch my stomach contorting I can close my eyes and see Baby *************. I can picture those scrawny little legs and perfect toes and gigantic head. :( (Sorry, gigantic heads make me sad!) When I do that and let myself remember that this really is a tiny little person inside me I am much more patient about letting him have time to fatten up and grow. I also had a dream that he had lots of dark hair and so now everytime I picture him I see a little darkhaired boy. 

I did have some brief hope that today would be the day. I woke up at 4 with some contractions that were uncomfortable enough to keep me awake. It was a no-go though. After being restless upstairs for awhile I came down to the living room and got a drink and sat on the exercise ball for awhile and away they went. :( I slept on the couch after that for about an hour and then after Andrew woke up I went back to bed for a little while til Ben woke up, but I don't think I actually slept. Since then...pretty much nothing. In fact, I actually don't feel that uncomfortable even today, a little tired, but not too shabby.

By my doctor's reckoning I am two days away from my due date. By my standards, which were right with Ben, I have five days. I can tell that my body is getting ready. I have that strange disconnected feeling in my hips. The baby has settled down somewhat at this point and isn't quite as active as he was before. There's a few more things that I'm not about to post openly on the internet.

I've gotten some more things done from my pre-baby-to-do list. I got Ben to his two year old checkup, which was obviously fine. I didn't really get the cooking and freezing done that I wanted to so instead I just bought scads of food the last couple grocery shopping trips and so our pantry and freezer are stuffed like they never have been before. Healthy...not so much, but quick and easy rules the day. I read up on the first few weeks of breastfeeding and hopefully that will go a little more smoothly than our last start! I'm getting a few things decluttered that have been bothering me so that I don't have to freak out everytime I look at a certain dresser or countertop. Andrew has been ridiculously helpful and patient with me the last few weeks, which I appreciate immensely. So, things really are coming together and sooner than later there really will be a baby!