This was a moment more of frustration than the first entry in this blog.  Not that I'm under the delusion that anyone who knows me is under the delusion that I am a perfect parent, but just so we're all clear about that I'm posting this story.

I've been sick for about five days so that knocks about 50 percent of parenting energy out right off the bat every time that I open my eyes. This morning Ben was really fussy and clingy. He wanted down, no up, no down, no up...and on and on this went. It didn't help that I was sitting at the computer and so I was really trying to do my own thing and wishing that he would do his own thing as well. As it turns out 15 month old babies aren't really into "their own thing".

So I'm sitting at the computer and Ben wants up and so I pick him up and he's fussy and wants down so I put him down and he's fussy and wants held again and so on and so forth. After about five minutes of this I've had enough on a normal basis and today I've had a whole morning of this.

More than a little irritate I put him back down onto the floor at one point and he starts to cry as soon as his feet hit the ground. He reached up for me and I turned him around and steered him off toward his toys with this wise bit of mother-speak:

"I don't know what your problem is and you're going to have to figure it out on your own."

He continued crying and took about three steps before melting into a crying-baby-puddle on the carpet. I'm pretty sure this would have been his response no matter what I had said at this age, but I still felt bad.

I mean, DUH! I'm talking to a 15 MONTH old child, not a 15 YEAR old teenager when the response to figure out their own problem might be slightly more appropriate. Just to put this in context these are a few of the things that Ben still needs help with...

Eating wtih a fork and spoon, Walking on uneven terrain, Speaking, Holding onto things while moving, walking up the steps, personal hygiene, dressing, getting toys off his shelf, etc. and yet somehow I thought that he might be able to independently identify whatever was triggering his crying and then take the necessary steps to make himself feel better.... Kind of ironic, since most adults who are capable of identifying their feelings and rectifying the situation still don't most of the time and would rather have someone that they love baby them until they feel a little bit better!

WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS... "Honey, I'm sorry you're having a bad day, let's go snuggle and read a book!"