This morning while Ben sleeps blissfully late due to a rough night I'm going to turn my blog into a confessional.

I went to a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) meeting. And I liked it. I'm not even lying.

I decided that I would go and try it out in the first place because despite being outside playing with Ben, and going to the park, and knowing one or two people here I wasn't really meeting anyone and quite frankly, I was getting desperate. I also want Ben to have opportunities to play with or at least be around since at his age they don't really play *with* each other, other kids.  I also figured that I wasn't going to like it and so the worst thing that it would be was intensely uncomfortable and awkward for two hours for me while Ben played with some kids and then we'd go home and I'd have some funny stories to tell and could say that I had tried it.

What I expected to find was white middle aged church women in denim jumpers, not w ...

When Ben and I go outside and he needs to actually be right by side I hold my hand out for him and say, "walk with me". And lately when we've been walking to get the mail he wants to hold hands just for a few seconds and then he takes off running, but always think it's so sweet when he volunteers to hold my hand.

This morning he wanted to watch tv right after breakfast and I was putting him off like usual because I just don't think he needs to turn his brain off immediately after waking up. Anyway. I was in the kitchen putting my breakfast together and he came in and grabbed on to my legs.

Me: "Hi Ben."

Ben: "Hi Mom."

Me: "Whatcha doing?"

Ben: "Bunnies?" (Asking to watch his Max and Ruby DVD)

Me: "In a little bit."

Ben: "A little bit."< ...

Ben was sitting on the potty this morning and I was reading a book to him. We took a break from the reading and he was picking out letters that he recognized, mainly W's. However, w isn't exactly the most common letter to find on a page, especially when you're talking about a children's book with two or three sentences per page. At this point we happened to be looking at a picture of a bus. So I pointed to the bus and said, "Bus" and then pointed to word and said, "Bus." Ben pointed to the b and said, "B", whether he actually knew or just got lucky I'm not sure because I didn't think he knew  lowercase b, but anyway. I said, "Yes, that's right," and pointed out each letter to him, "B-U-S." Then we looked at some other pictures and found a couple more s's, which I thought would be a good one to teach him because it's fairly distinctive looking. After a minute or two we went back to the word bus and I sai ...

Dear Ben,

     You are making me crazy. I give up. My nerves are shot. You win. I cannot listen to another whine, moan, or groan. I surrender. I have a college degree. I have spent years working with children, specifically children with emotional and behavioral disorders, and I was good at my job. You are not even 22 months old and you have bested me by 10:30 in the morning. PLEASE, I beg of you, watch TV. You can watch "Max the Bunny" until you grow whiskers and rabbit ears just stop following me around making that noise. Maybe we'll both feel better after your nap in two hours. Until then, please, rot your brain cells, ruin your social skills, ignore imaginative play, just sit and watch a dvd, over and over again as many times as you want (until nap time). I giveup.

Love,

    Your Mother

Ben does this thing where he just greets us over and over again. It's so funny and it's so sweet.

He'll just look at me or Andrew or both of us, even if we've all been with him for hours...he's totally random about it. But he'll look at me and say, "Hi Mom." And I'll say "Hi Ben." And he just goes on and on and on. "Hi Mommy. Hi Mom. Hi Mama. Hi Dad. Hey Mom. Hey Dad. Hi dad. Hi daddy. Hi mom." There's no stopping him not that we want to, but it's just funny that being greeted in return doesn't fill whatever need is driving him he just keeps going.

These are some funny moments of Ben's over the past week or so...

September 3rd: Ben has been asking to watch his Elmo video all morning. In an effort to a) curtail how much time he spends watching videos and b) teach him some rudimentary patience my standard reply has become "in a little bit". I was doing some things around the house today and he followed me around for probably ten minutes roaring

"ELMO. Elmo. Elmo. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

I'd answer him. "We'll watch Elmo in a little bit." And walk about the house doing my stuff and he would just follow me yelling for Elmo. It was so funny. He wasn't having a tantrum or even being mean or angry about it. He was just very very loud and drawn out.

Septmeber 4th: We have two flies in the house this evening. Ben spotted them a ...

Ahhh, my son. I guess I could practice being more specific since rumor has it that I will have two sons very shortly. Ahhh, my firstborn and onlyborn son. That should be specific enough. He is an absolute devilish little whirlwind of activity that makes me crazy unless he's watching a video and then he's just a little wide-eyed, slack-jawed, motionless lump. I'll leave it up to you to determine which version I prefer...

Section A: How Big is Ben?

He is 21 and a half months old. He's tall enough to pull things off the kitchen counter and climb onto chairs to get at whatever he can't reach from the floor. He weighs enough that I huff and puff when he wants to be carried and that sometimes I make him climb the steps to upstairs by himself (I walk with him) even if it means that he cries while he goes up. I'm hoping this is less cruel than it is character building for him. He is still sleeping in his crib and we don't have immediate ...

I submitted a personal essay that I wrote to a national magazine for publication. It was rejected. I've been assured by someone-in-the-know that I got an "awesome rejection letter" so that made me feel better. I wasn't really expecting it to be published, but I did think it turned out well, many thanks to my editor, and I wasn't really as disappointed as I would have thought I would be. I did harbor my secret fantasies about it catapulting me to instant fame, success, and an appearance on Oprah, but it was not to be. I'm not really looking for condolences or encouragement I just thought that I should somehow mark my first attempt at publication. And no, none of you can read it.

So, today is my birthday. The alarm went off at 6:30 because we have to be up and moving ASAP to finish everything that we didn't finish last night before the packers get here this morning. The first thing my husband said to me this morning was "Let's get moving", which he quickly ammended to "Happy Birthday."

Yesterday he did surprise me with an ice cream cake from Coldstone Creamery and a birthday card that Ben picked out. Like everything else that Ben picks out it had a dog on the front of it. :) He (Ben) also came into the house saying "Happy happy happy" for awhile and then when handing me the card added "birthday". It was very sweet.

My birthday plans include leftover cake for breakfast followed by coffee and some Flintstone Chewable Vitamins to round the meal off. A mad dash hour of packing and praying that stays asleep til the movers arrive at 8:00. At that point I get him up and dr ...

I wrote out this long elaborate blog about our itinerary and then came back to see if anyone had read it and yet and what do I find? Oh, it's gone. It's not here. It's not here. I spent all that stupid time on it this morning and it's gone. Seriously, I don't have time for this kind of nonsense.

Here's a short version. August 1st we leave Georgia. August 5th we get to California.

If I find myself with a passel of time and much much less frustration than I'm feeling about this situation later then maybe I'll repost it. Good grief.